First... the Contemplative Part.
Today, I enter my 40s. F-O-R-T-Y.
{This is the more serious, thoughtful part of my post. Just wait... the fun part is coming. I did a 40th Birthday CAKE SMASH! It was so.much.fun.}
Sometimes, I still feel like that little girl growing up in the Midwest who loved her animals, who loved exploring, who loved quiet surroundings and all things sports. The girl that could spend a whole day just being outside in nature hanging out with her horses and dog. The girl that could shovel hog manure like it's NOBODY's business. (Seriously, I was a beast.)
Sometimes, I look at my kids and think to myself, "How in the world am I old enough to have kids this big?!"
And yet sometimes, I feel like I'm four HUNDRED and forty years old.
It's really amazing how quickly time goes by, isn't it?
I was reflecting on my life this morning during my quiet time. You see, the most PERFECT start to any day usually goes like this for me.
- Get up at 5am. (Which means I needed to be in bed at 10pm the night before, because 7 hours of sleep is a must, I have learned.)
- Pour my coffee, sit down at the table and have some sweet time with Jesus in prayer, reading, etc.
- Writing down a few things I'm grateful for in my ever growing gratitude list/notebook.
- Snuggle with my dog, Junebug while doing those things.
- Work 30-40 minutes and get (sort of) organized for the day ahead.
- Kids get up, help them get ready for school. Then the real work day begins.
- Even more perfect is if I start ALL these things with 5 minutes of meditation on my ""Headspace" or "Soultime" apps. (I seriously need to do that more!)
But yes, that is my PERFECT start to any day. It sets the tone for every other part of my day. I have learned that time is so, so precious to me for so many reasons.
As I was reflecting, I thought about what going into my 20s and 30s was like.
20s: Moving into my 20s, there were so many great things happening (fun friends, amazing family, great college, etc.) but SO much uncertainty, and SO many fears of the unknown. (What would I do for a career? Would I find my husband one day, have kids, where will I live, blah blah blah.)
30s: Moving into my 30s, I had a 4 month old son, sweet Miles. I worked a very demanding (rewarding yet stressful) job at the University of Texas, and although I loved that, I barely saw my baby. I was thinking of starting a photography business, but that wasn't even a real thought until I was 31 or so. I had met and married that wonderful husband I dreamed of, I had started a beautiful family, I had a career, and then a second baby, but OH MY GOSH was life crazy, tiring, nonstop, and just plain exhausting. Still so many unknowns, still so many insecurities. Life was really happy, but so exhausting.
40: I thought turning 40 would bother me more, honestly. I'm happy to say that I feel pretty darn great moving into this decade. God has blessed me beyond comprehension, really. The family, friends, and people He has placed in my path are a never ending blessing to me. The reflection I've done the last few weeks and months has really helped me feel this way about moving into a new decade... one that often is hard for women to move into. As I move into my 40s, I feel SO MUCH BETTER than I ever did during those earlier decade changes. I have a 10 year old and an almost 8 year old, and they are both the little loves of my life, and they are at such fun ages! That sweet husband is THE most amazing man on the planet, and life is good. Yes, life is still crazy. But it is so much sweeter, more intentional, and "known" now in several ways. I have worked very hard to create a business that is very successful and SO rewarding, one where I get to work with THE most amazing clients and create for them, a job where for the most part, I get to make the rules, I get to be with my family more, and one where we get to experience life together in ways that are so sweet. I feel like there are amazing things on the horizon, and am grateful for life's adventures.
I think the only things that I don't love about entering my 40s right now are:
- The fact that it also means our parents are getting older. I can't even go there...
- The wrinkles that are appearing on my face. Hmmmmm...
- Getting up off the floor after folding laundry or playing a board game usually involves a bit of hobbling and "oh, man... my body hurts" comments.
- Ha! I'm sure there are a few more things, but I'll stick with those for now.
WORD OF THE YEAR for 2020?
Did you choose a “word of the year” for 2020? I have a few. One of them is “Shine.” I am ready to start polishing off some of the dull parts of me that have faded a bit the last decade, and help them to shine more. That also means wearing more clothes (and eye shadow) that have a little more "shimmer" and shine to them. Stepping into my 4th decade of life today, and what better time to shine than NOW, right?!
And guess what? Last night, my parents (from 1,000 miles away!!) showed up as a HUGE and wonderful birthday surprise! Love, love, love it.